Venting emotions is not “handling” them

It was an Austrian named Sigmund Freud (1856 – 1939) that suggested talking about (venting) bothersome emotions was the best way to lessen their lingering, recurring bad effects on body and mind. After almost 100 years of study and modern neuron-imaging (fMRI) we know this was a bold first step but is by no means a complete solution to our adverse mental conditioning. Here are some recent evidence-based reasons explaining why emotional venting (expressing feelings) is only a small step in healing from overwhelming emotions.

Expressing (venting) a feeling (emotion) sends its emotional energy out into the population, where it has more force as the story spreads (gossip) as minute details change with every telling due to our subconscious wishfully adding false details (lying) it insists are true.

As Freud observed, expressing a feeling does lessens its emotional energy within… but with less energy the feeling can be more easily be “stuffed down” – where it is not removed – not erased – not cut away – so the potential for re-growth – resurfacing in mutated form – is much greater. A “trigger” remains, waiting for pressure, even from unrelated sources, to launch the strong feeling back into consciousness. where it causes mayhem again.

Escape mechanisms for strong feelings are becoming more socially acceptable, to our detriment.

“Diversion” is an escape mechanism that occupies the mind away from powerful bothersome emotions. As children our caregivers can use diversion (candy, toys, soothers) when we become upset instead of giving us time and their attention to process through our strong emotions, thereby returning to normalcy without the harmful side effects of diversion.

In adulthood these diversions sometimes unconsciously progress and escalate to overeating, gambling, drug/alcohol abuse, promiscuity, “cutting”, obsessive shopping, “travel”, cinema/theatre, talking, texting and immersion in social media.

Each of these diversions requires enormous personal energy and expen$e. This is known as “diversionary emotional repression/diversion”, that is ineffective, temporary and stress inducing on its own effect. For example, a compulsive shopper unconsciously tries to soothe a bothersome emotion, but now suffers the added stress of debts and even more stress of where to store the overabundance of items piling up in the home. Rental storage units in North America have become normalized to the extent that most people who rent them are paying $15,000 a year to store items that were purchased for only $9,000 and are worth less than that because they are no longer “new”.

More personal energy is expended to maintain the stuffing down of emotions causing:

Progressive loss of creativity, maturity and awareness of reality – Stagnation of character growth – Developmental mental illness, organ dysfunction, premature aging and early death. Projection of these feelings into the population (normalizing diversion) results in large scale social disorder, selfishness and ignorance that is itself normalized.

The results of normalizing diversion are inability to love and trust self/others – emotional self loathing and isolation.

The ability to let go of feelings has instant and measurable decompression and relief. Blood pressure stabilizes, skin colour normalizes, breathing is regulated, blood chemistry stabilizes and the gastrointenstinal system begins to relax and regulate.

In my next Blog I will focus on how despite all the publicity about stress, its essence and relief are misunderstood.