Resentment, the Heart, Neurosis

Chronic FearGetting right with the sensation of inner disturbance allows a freedom that few of us experience. Disturbance is universal – “into each life, rain must fall”.  

Refined to its simplest components, disturbance comes, stays for a while, then goes- if we allow it to.

Allowing disturbance to pass away with a minimum of fuss also allows us to develop freely and explore life. Hanging on to disturbance is known as resentment.

When disturbance comes, it touches our psyche; the psyche reflexively shrinks back, to protect itself, to shield its inner energy. This is sometimes felt physically, as a shrinking of the area around the heart.

With the heart in regress, the mind starts to invent a story (a justification) for future actions to keep the heart closed, replacing love with falsehoods, or with envy, jealousy, anger, greed or other harmful emotions.

The mind then makes up a conscious story that we tell ourselves repeatedly (resentment) that justifies closing the heart. Once the heart closes, it is easier for the mind to believe its own story of why you are right and the other person is wrong, also what we are going to do about it. But that is not the end of the process.

If you buy into it, the rationale becomes part of you. It becomes the way you will react to future situations that are similar, and it will set you up for different preferences of reality. This is how neurotic behaviour begins. This erroneous faith begins to shape your future reactions and reality preferences, based on the mind’s story, not reality.

If we have the clarity of mind to see all this happening and understand the consequences to our own lives, then we will want to be free of the trap of hanging on to disturbance and suffering.

When something happens to cause inner disturbance, instead of pulling away, closing down – let it pass right through as a wind passes through an open window.

At one moment we can feel angry, afraid, jealous, envious, insecure or embarrassed – but if you can be mindful and look deep inside – you will see the heart pushing back, closing down.

“I have feelings; feeling don’t have me”, is a useful mantra when viewing the pain and frustration of life simply as energy that eventually dissipates and move on.

If we close around the pain, the closing prevents it from passing through, and given time to hang around, it takes up residence within. We need to release the bad energy, to let it pass away.

Being free means admitting and accepting that we have pain in our hearts that we have stored during the days of our ignorance.

Now that we are enlightened, we can see that on the other side of pain is beauty, love and peace.

We must be able to admit and accept the pain to possess the ability to pass onto the other side.

Accept that if we relax, pain will have its moment in the front of our awareness, and then it will pass.

Published by

Rob Owens

I have been working online as Meditation Teacher since the start of the COVID 19 pandemic. I started teaching public Yoga classes in 2022 through the City of Quinte West Community Services.

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